Non-Intact Maine Coon Male Seeks Special Connection with Non-Intact Female, Breed Immaterial

Valerie DurhamValerie Durham Member Posts: 8,724
edited 7 May, 2008 in Catster Crushes
Wanted: Friendly, companionably reclusive, socially unacceptable, alcoholically abstemious, tirelessly talkative, zealously unzealous, spiritually intense, minimally turquoise, maximally ecstatic loon seeks moth or moths with similar equalities for purposes of telephonic seduction, Tristan-esque trip-taking, and permanent flame-fluttering. No photos required. Financial status immaterial. All ages and noncompetitive vocations considered. Applications should furnish cassettes of sample conversations, notarized certification of marital disinclination, references re: low-decibel vocal consistency, itinerary and sample receipts from previous, successfully completed out-of-town moth flights. All submissions treated confidentially. No paws need apply. The auditions for all promising candidates will be conducted to and on Anaton, Newfoundland.

Comments

  • edited 30 April, 2008
    Hi im single :-h
  • Courtney O-Courtney O- LouisianaMember Posts: 6,793
    edited 30 April, 2008
    ::oWow, so basically....ur single?:))! Sorry mommy was like~ \"huh?!?!\" After the first line.:-$:))! So catgrats~ You are the confuser of the day=D>:))! Anyway, good luck!!
  • Valerie DurhamValerie Durham Member Posts: 8,724
    edited 1 May, 2008
    Oh, yes, I\'m afraid I may have not made that clear. I am single, OF COURSE. And I have never had a girlfriend...I sometimes meet some cute chicks at cat shows, but everybody\'s in their own cage, you know? ...Also I should have added that I\'m WILD about Glenn Gould. Would love a discussion as to the relative merits of his 1955 and 1981 recordings of the \"Goldberg Variations.\"
  • Valerie DurhamValerie Durham Member Posts: 8,724
    edited 1 May, 2008
    And if I can\'t find anycat to meet the specifications in my first post, I\'ll settle for that cute little Norwegian Forest Cat (grey, about yay big, presumably still a Premier, from somewhere outside of Tokyo). Drat, really should have gotten her e-mail address. I guess I\'ll just have to cruise the cat shows until she shows up again... :((
  • Kristyn LuksKristyn Luks Member Posts: 32,266
    edited 1 May, 2008
    Harvey :)):))
  • Valerie DurhamValerie Durham Member Posts: 8,724
    edited 1 May, 2008
    Harvey is sort of playing a joke with all you Catsters. Let\'s just say that his \"singles ad\" is plagiarized. You all know how easy it is to plagiarize from the Internet... Let\'s see who is the first person to figure out the original author of this. Undoubtedly a number of you already know. (As for what it ACTUALLY means, the only person who might have been able to tell us has now crossed over the Rainbow Bridge.) |/a/| I would say that Harvey shows a remarkable lack of ingenuity in being unable to write his own singles ad, but in fact a significant number of human beings have also commandeered this masterpiece of the genre for their own (as an Internet search will reveal). And, for a laugh, check out this link. It\'s a singles ad that may SEEM a little naughty until you get to the punchline. Enjoy. http://wilk4.com/humor/humorm310.htm :q
  • Sandi MahanaSandi Mahana Member Posts: 4,011
    edited 1 May, 2008
    :))
  • Kristyn LuksKristyn Luks Member Posts: 32,266
    edited 1 May, 2008
    :))!:))!:))!:))! That was so funny, Chibi!
  • Valerie DurhamValerie Durham Member Posts: 8,724
    edited 2 May, 2008
    Nobody\'s interested in where Harvey plagiarized his singles ad from? No Catsters with game spirit and an insatiable urge to surf the Internet? Will contribute a gift to the first person who comes up with the right answer! :-h
  • Lauren Di GiorgioLauren Di Giorgio Somewhere over the rainbowMember Posts: 11,617
    edited 2 May, 2008
    I'd love to get to know you, Harvey:r
  • Courtney O-Courtney O- LouisianaMember Posts: 6,793
    edited 4 May, 2008
    :)):))Nice, Chibi!:))
  • Lauren Di GiorgioLauren Di Giorgio Somewhere over the rainbowMember Posts: 11,617
    edited 4 May, 2008
    :))!:))!Chibi! Only now I decided to read the add - hilarious :)) I think I found Harvey's add: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=108667042
  • edited 4 May, 2008
    That Is Funny!:))!:))!:)):)) Good One!
  • abby willifordabby williford Member Posts: 1,424
    edited 4 May, 2008
    :-h
  • Valerie DurhamValerie Durham Member Posts: 8,724
    edited 5 May, 2008
    Harvey wants me to tell all of you who responded to his singles ad that he is sincerely moved by the attention paid to him by several extremely attractive females. However, on reconsideration, he has decided that he is going to save his Non-Intact Male heart for that cute little grey Non-Intact Female Norwegian Forest Cat he saw at a cat show in early March. We have been trying to convince him that a bird in the paw is worth two in the bush (meaning, he should respond to some of you lovely ladies), but right now he seems pretty set on that NFC. (I was at that show myself, and didn\'t see what was so special about her, but I guess guys have different tastes from girls.) So, for the time being, unless you are the above-mentioned NFC, Harvey wishes you to know that he is planning to continue his bachelor ways a bit longer. :( However, the offer still stands of a free gift (via the Gift Shop) to the Cat who guesses the author of the original (plagiarized!) singles ad. To the Cat who suggested the MySpace ad--we are not MySpace members, so cannot access provided link. If the author is a famous person, please write his/her name and YOU will be the winner! If not, keep searching... ;c;
  • Beastie_and_the_BoysBeastie_and_the_Boys Marquette, MI / ChicagoMember Posts: 17,806 ✭✭✭
    edited 5 May, 2008
    Chibi, I don't believe you have to be a member of MySpace to view the link that Miss Cherry posted. It's a public page. And I think she has a good answer. ;) Maybe a hot link would be easier: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewpro file&friendID=108667042
  • Lauren Di GiorgioLauren Di Giorgio Somewhere over the rainbowMember Posts: 11,617
    edited 5 May, 2008
    I agree with Ben. I\'m not a My Space member and I could view the page :? I found the VERY SAME singles ad on there...:-k If that\'s not it, I wonder where to find it :-k:-k
  • Valerie DurhamValerie Durham Member Posts: 8,724
    edited 6 May, 2008
    Thanks, Ben, the link worked. Ta da!!! We have two winners, Miss Cherry (who found it first) and Ben (who was diligent in figuring out how to get the information to me!). Concatulations! ;P ;P ;P Now I have to make good my promise and give you both prizes. Hmm...how many Zealies do I have left? Let\'s go shopping!!! ;c;
  • Valerie DurhamValerie Durham Member Posts: 8,724
    edited 6 May, 2008
    The contest is now closed, but check out Ben\'s hot link and learn about a very, very mysterious and brilliant Human (if you don\'t know about him already, that is). %:D% Enjoy! |$|
  • Beastie_and_the_BoysBeastie_and_the_Boys Marquette, MI / ChicagoMember Posts: 17,806 ✭✭✭
    edited 6 May, 2008
    Aww, you didn't have to count me as a winner! I just wanted to make sure that Miss Cherry got credit for the right answer. :h:
  • Valerie DurhamValerie Durham Member Posts: 8,724
    edited 6 May, 2008
    You\'re an awfully nice fellow, Ben, and I\'m glad to have made your acquaintance. You certainly are chivalrous to think of Miss Cherry first! But if it hadn\'t been for you, I wouldn\'t have been able to give her the award! I see you\'re up for adoption. What, a handsome guy like you, with your purrsonality, can\'t find a home? If my Meowmy lived in the States, I\'d bet she\'d try to get you. She used to have a lover-boy black cat, and black cats can get addictive. She looked at your page (boy, aren\'t you popular, with all those gifts!), and although her knowledge of shorthaired breeds is pretty limited, she wonders if you might have some Burmese in you. Your ear set and shape, your face, muzzle, and profile, and your body shape all seem to resemble photos of Burmese she\'s seen at the CFA site. It seems like all kitties want to be a breed when they\'re really just moggies, but Meowmy wonders if you might be something above and beyond a gorgeous black cat with golden eyes (not that you NEED to be anything more, mind you!). Meowmy spends a lot of time at cat shows staring at various breeds, and while she knows a lot more about Maine Coons than Burmese, she\'s used to analyzing cats, and still thinks you don\'t necessarily look like the average American domestic short hair moggy. Just a thought. Here\'s wishing that you find a forever home very, very soon! ;c; ;c; ;c;
  • Lauren Di GiorgioLauren Di Giorgio Somewhere over the rainbowMember Posts: 11,617
    edited 6 May, 2008
    Aww thank you so much!!! ;c;|:| And thank youu Ben for thinking of me! |:|
  • Valerie DurhamValerie Durham Member Posts: 8,724
    edited 7 May, 2008
    Miss Cherry--if it weren\'t for that little grey Norwegian Forest Kitty, I\'d ask you to be mine, I\'m sure. So sad that things didn\'t work out this time...that we were but as two ships fated to pass in the night... :((
  • Courtney O-Courtney O- LouisianaMember Posts: 6,793
    edited 7 May, 2008
    ???Dude, social internet dating. :))
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