Why did I snap?

Kelly UnruhKelly Unruh Southern CaliforniaMember Posts: 7
edited 13 April, 2010 in Behavior & Training
Molly and I have been together for almost 5 years now. She came home when she was a mere kitten and I was about 5. We\'ve had our rough moments, but we\'ve always been best buds. About 3 years ago, when my human parents had a little girl, I started peeing outside of my litter box. The vet said it was just behavioral. Every so often, especially if my parents come home later, I tend to pee in the corner. Still can\'t really explain why I do this. Then two days ago, Molly and I had a huge fight. I bit her in the foot. First time I\'ve ever drawn blood on her. So much that she is afraid to come near me and will hiss at me and we scratched up our human daddy pretty good. I ended up at the vet to have some tests done to see if I was sick. Nope all good. Now Molly is leaving to go live with our grandma. My human parents are very sad yet they aren\'t sure if she will ever be my friend again? We\'ve been in different rooms since the fight. Are they overreacting by sending Molly away? I know she\'ll like her new home, but we will all miss her. Any why could I have snapped like that? Could it have been all the earthquake aftershocks these past few weeks? Not much else has changed in the household. We are all very sad right now.

Comments

  • Kitty_Pryde_and_JackKitty_Pryde_and_Jack los angelesMember Posts: 317 ✭✭✭
    edited 13 April, 2010
    So sorry for all the stress you've been going thru...I think sometimes maybe tha afturrshocks might be effecting my brofur 'cause he was extra crazy when tha earthquakes came these last weeks. We nevfur had any accidents with the litter box (except he akshully scared me once when I was going and it made me get a poopie on tha floor!!!!) and going in the wrong places, but he jumps and wrestles with me sooo bad that I got a cut the othfur day on my face and then my nose too...and he won't stop no matter what I do or Mommy does to distract him... it's gotten so bad that I hiss and growl even when I think he is sneaking up on me, even though he sometimes isn't even in the same room. All our tests have come back great from the vet doc doc, so there's no medical issue that has been found, and yet Indy doesn't calm down. Yr Mommy isn't ovfurreacting if she is so worried about you guys...did you maybe see another cat or get scared by something while Molly was nearby? Sometimes we get scared and attack the furrrst thing we see, even if they didn't have anything to do with it! My mom separates us when it gets bad and has been separating us when she isn't home, but tries to let us be together when she is and tries to play with us at the same time...our fav. together toy is catnip bubbles. She is also using the same brush on us to get us used to smelling alike, which sounds crazy since we live togethfur, but it seems to help a little too! Akshully, this weekend I was soooo mad at Indy that he couldn't even look at me without me getting ANGRY, but last night I let him give me three licks on my forehead. If yr mommy doesn't want to give Molly to your grandmaw yet, maybe some of those things can help? We have feliway diffusers too which are supposed to help calm catitudes and help with goiing potty in the wrong places, but it's not been as successful with us, but other furrrs on here swear by them. Maybe you guys can even get treats while you are trying to be in the same place together, since that might help you remember good times in each others presence. So sorry if you've already tried anything I've mentioned, but slowly I am trusting my brofur again because of the stuff my mom is trying. We use this stuff called Bach's Rescue Remedy too and that helps sometimes, but not always. Purrrs and hope things get better.

    Kitty Pryde and Jack

  • Annalisa Conserti-JonesAnnalisa Conserti-Jones Member Posts: 5,234
    edited 13 April, 2010
    Redley, tell your mom that 2 days is too early to decide that Molly will never forgive you. I think what she should do is pretend like you're new to each other, and do something similar to when you were first introduced to one another. She can feed you two on opposite sides of the door, give you treats when you don't growl at each other, and try to involve you in activities that let both of you play, but not roughhouse with one another. Try a laser toy so you both can chase the dot, or a feather wand so you can take turns at trying to catch the "bird". Tell your mom that while the environment inside the home might not have changed, sometimes a cat will attack another kitty if there are other animals outside the house, like a kitty that roams around the neighborhood, or even wildlife of some sort. If that's the case, you're just taking your frustration of not being able to go and chase this "intruder" out on Molly. Mom says that Feliway helps a lot in these cases of cats being so territorial that they redirect aggression to their friends indoors. Oh, and just in case your mom didn't do it that way in the past, tell her that next time you try to get rough with Molly, she should try and hiss at you or make a noise that distracts you from it, and when you stop, she should pick you up and go put you in a room by yourself to cool off for five minutes. It's very tempting to take away the kitty that has been attacked so you can check on him or her, but that only tells the aggressive kitty that the other kitty is weak and can be picked on. Taking the aggressive kitty away tells that kitty that picking on the other kitty only leads to being stuck in one room while the other kitty gets the rest of the house. Mom had to do it only once or twice when Gracie was a kitten and I was a big bully, and I got the message that hurting Gracie was not okay. These days if I try to get too rough, mom hisses at me and then when I stop to see what she wants she says "Leave her". I sort of get that I need to back off, so I usually walk away from Gracie and let her be (often though we'll just both be wailing on each other and everything's fine).
  • Kelly UnruhKelly Unruh Southern CaliforniaMember Posts: 7
    edited 13 April, 2010
    I can't explain what happened between Redley and me the other day. But it has left me scared of him. So much so that I would go potty at the sight of him and hiss. We have never been this way towards each other. Even when I was first brought home, we couldn't wait to see each other. My parents thought it was going to get better as the night wore on, but by the time my Dad put me in the cage to take me to the car, I saw Redley and started hissing at him. After a long car ride, I'm now at my Grandma's. So far I'm doing good, exploring my new home. Even found a box spring to hid under. My Dad leaves later this afternoon then it will be just me and grandma. We'll be good for each other. She just lost her Daisy about a month ago. This is for the best of the family. I know everyone is sad, especially my Mom. My human sister will be sad, but may not know exactly what is going on just yet. I will take good care of my grandma.
  • Molly StrothkampMolly Strothkamp MesaMember Posts: 1,381
    edited 13 April, 2010
    Hi Molly, I'm so sorry to hear about what happened. It sounds like your grandma's house is what works best for you right now. Sending purrs to your mom as I'm sure she misses you very much. In addition to what the other kitties said, I'd also suggest Molly have a full vet examination (maybe they already did that when her foot got hurt?). My kitty Charlie started to get really aggressive with his brother Leo and it came out of nowhere. About 4 days later, Leo began showing signs of illness (a neurological condition) and now that I look back, I think that Charlie could sense Leo's illness before I could and that's why Charlie was aggressive. Luckily, once Leo was treated and started to recover, the aggression from Charlie towards Leo went away.
  • Lisa DausmanLisa Dausman Member Posts: 5,216
    edited 13 April, 2010
    There are a few things going on here, all of which go back to Redley. Some cats are more sensitive to changes in the household than others, and react in baddy boy behavior, hence the new human baby, hence the parents coming late, and the aftershocks are a huge stressor. So they act out, hence the peeing, and in extreme cases, hence the aftershocks, they attack what is closest to them, like Molly or like daddy. Its like a person that has issues, and they lash out at the closest ones, usually the ones they love. Redley does not no longer love Molly or daddy, its just the way he is, sensitive to changes, and he lashes out at the closest ones, the ones he loves, Molly and daddy. There are ways to correct this, but it would come from a vet, and a behavioral specialist, and its not going to fix itself overnight. Its also going to take a long time for Molly to trust Redley again, but I agree with Boris, it can be done, start them as they were brand new, never saw each other before, but this can only happen after Redley's issue has been addressed and corrected. But on the other hand, Molly may be happier at grandma's, and it sounds like Molly is just what grandma needs right now. Once you get Redley's issue corrected, then re-asses the situation, do you want to try and re-introduce Molly in the household again, or do you feel she is happier at grandma's. Best of luck, with whatever you decide. Redley, this was not your fault, you just need help, and Molly, Redley still loves you, he just needs some help. :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
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