Dear Catster reader,

Almost two years ago, we invested numerous resources and rebuilt the Catster community. With new hardware, software and personnel, we did our best to satisfy the many users who shared their thoughts, pictures, questions, and love for and of their pets with us and friends. It was a thriving community with many users. We hoped, however, there would be more like you.

Times and habits have changed and we are sad to announce that the Catster community will be closing down on July 20, 2019.

Catster magazine, and the associated social media sites are NOT shutting down. We encourage you to continue reading the content found in the pages of the magazine and the web sites, commenting through the mechanisms provided and sharing your ideas and comments with us and your fellow readers.

Instructions for accessing pet profiles were shared with everyone in 2017. The instructions can be found elsewhere within the forum. AFTER JULY 20TH, YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO ACCESS THIS CONTENT. And, effective immediately, we are no longer able to answer questions about the community.

Thank you for your support and we look forward to serving you through our magazine and website.


Mom and daughter not getting along

chelsea sharpechelsea sharpe Member Posts: 48
edited 18 April, 2010 in Behavior & Training
My cat Smokey and her daughter Miley no longer get along. Miley is now 2 yrs old and it's like the two hate each other. They were perfectly fine when Miley was a kitten but starting about a year ago the relationship changed. Now if they are in the same room they hiss at each other and sometimes get physical. No blood shed but a lot of screeching. Does anyone know why?


  • Alice KehmAlice Kehm LenhartsvilleMember Posts: 159
    edited 16 April, 2010
    Yes I know the reason for this . Mom is telling her daughter that she is the boss of the house and not her . Also is mom and the daughter fixed if not they should be . That may calm things down a bit . But you are not going to get rid of her growling at her daughter .
  • chelsea sharpechelsea sharpe Member Posts: 48
    edited 16 April, 2010
    Both girls are spayed and have been for about a year and a half.
  • Annalisa Conserti-JonesAnnalisa Conserti-Jones Member Posts: 5,234
    edited 16 April, 2010
    Then it is definitely territorial. When cats turn 2, they start challenging the status quo sometimes. That may be what is happening here, and Smokey doesn't like it one bit! If they are not harming one another, you just have to let them work it out. Eventually one of them will assert her superiority and the other will be like "oh well, look like I'm going to be playing second banana for now!" To be on the safe side, you might want to get both cats seen by a vet. Sometimes cats begin to fight with one another because one senses the other is ill. Hoping that's not the case here, but you might as well explore the possibility just in case.
  • Valerie DurhamValerie Durham Member Posts: 8,724
    edited 16 April, 2010
    I agree with Gracie. Even though cats can make babies before they turn one, I've found that they don't really come into their own, personality-wise, until they are around two. And I definitely agree that it's territorial and has something to do with the pecking order. Chibi and Leila at best ignore their kittens once they're weaned, and at worst, hiss at and hit them. In the case of kittens, the meaning is "I'm not going to be your Mama anymore." There might be an element of that in this relationship too, although why it would occur at age two is a mystery. I've known mother and daughter cats who became best buddies when the daughter grew up; I think it just depends on the individual cats. But it's certainly not unusual for cats, of either sex, in multi-cat households to get along without getting along, if that makes any sense. My neutered males get along basically by ignoring each other (except Harvard and Lowell, who are brothers and like to team up to wreak havoc in the house), thus solving the alpha male problem by not solving it. Harvey, who is the biggest and at heart a coward, likes to bop the kittens and hiss at the females just to show that he's boss, but he doesn't do it to the adult males--like most bullies, he just picks on those weaker than he is. There may be hitting and occasional swatting among the cats, but no real quarrels involving teeth and claws. I do worry that some of the kittens may end up with PTSD, however...
  • chelsea sharpechelsea sharpe Member Posts: 48
    edited 17 April, 2010
    My house is, as my dad says, a zoo. Apart from the mom and daughter(who is the most destructive and trouble making cat I've ever seen) we have 2 neutered toms that are half brothers, a dog that thinks she's a cat, and in a seperate room a feral momma and her 5 little boys. Plus outside we have a feral tom(the father of the 2 half brothers as well as 2 of the little kittens). The 2 brothers and the daughter all get along great-no dominance issues at all. And the mom and the 2 brothers also get along pretty well so the only issue is the mom daughter one!
  • Vicky ChanVicky Chan MarkhamMember Posts: 3,542
    edited 17 April, 2010
    Typical mother/daughter relationship in any species, XD. Perhaps Miley is growing up and is sick of following her mother's rules. She wants to be independent, so she's telling Smokey to back off. OK Smokey, let your daughter live her own life, MOL MOL MOL.
  • Tain RoseTain Rose Member Posts: 978
    edited 18 April, 2010
    When Kiwi turned 4 months Tora (her mother) started hissing and batting at her. It mellowed down a bit after Kiwi got spayed but still happened. The vet said it was because Tora was telling Kiwi that she needs to stop relying on momma now. Also probably because Kiwi was still suckling on Tora.. :-k I could not wean her, Kiwi and Tora were the two most difficult and strange kittens I've ever raised.
Sign In or Register to comment.

Welcome to the new Catster Community!

Introduce the community to your pet with our Pet Profiles and discover how to use the new community with our Getting Started pages!

Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!