My wife's cat is mourning her loss by urinating on our bed. How can I stop this??

This began when we had to be gone a lot for hospital stays. If we were gone overnight, he would pee on her side of the bed. Our final hospital stay lasted just over a month, and our cat (Boots) stayed with a friend where he didn't have any problems going outside his litter box, even with a new litter, so I don't think it is a litter or health issue. Now that my wife has passed, and the cat is back, I have been using the litter that our friend was using, but the cat pees on our bed at least once per day. A couple of times while I was in it. Boots often sits on my lap in the evenings for a couple of hours (in between getting up to take care of the kids), so I am giving him as much attention as I am able. Although I am not particularly a cat person, I don't want to get rid of the cat because the kids just lost their mother, and don't need to loose their cat too. But if this doesn't stop, he's going back to live with our friends who were taking care of him before. Thank you.

Best Answers

  • Joy WaltersJoy Walters Member Posts: 9,276
    Accepted Answer
    We are so sorry for your loss. Understand that the grief you and your children feel is being transmitted to Boots as well. This is an extremely stressful time for you and the cat. When he stayed with your friends, perhaps things were calmer there and he received lots of attention. Wash your bedding thoroughly, using bleach and hot water if you can. You must get rid of "his" odor on your bedding or he will continue to use it to relieve himself. He may also scent your wife there and be wondering why he can smell her but not see her. It might not be a bad idea to take him to the vet to make sure he hasn't popped up with a urinary infection. At that time you can speak with the vet about how Boots is acting out and what he's doing. As do you all, Boots, too needs love, understanding and patience during this very difficult time. Our prayers are with you and your family.
  • Ellie CarterEllie Carter SeattleMember Posts: 2,252
    Accepted Answer
    First, I want to express my sincere sympathy for you and your family. This is a difficult time for all of you, and your cat feels that same stress and anxiety as well. I agree with Izzie, Boots is also grieving. It could be that Boot's smells his scent on the bedding and also still catches the scent of your wife. Cats can totally pick up on our emotions and that causes them to do things they would not ordinarily do. Try to remain as calm as possible and spend extra time with Boots, playing with him too. Maybe until things settle down you could put a puppy pee pad or a chuck that a human would use over the area Boots pees. You could also try to use some Feliway, which is a natural cat pheromone, to help ease Boots' anxiety. Your vet may also be able to offer some suggestions as well, and may be able to provide advice over the phone for free. Good luck and again, my deepest sympathies to you and your family.
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