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Mourning cat; bleeding mom

Shara PierceallShara Pierceall Member Posts: 18
edited 17 June, 2010 in Behavior & Training
My father passed away. I'm disabled, so Lexi and I were living with him. Ever since he died, Lexi has become very aggressive with me. She draws blood 2-3 times a day. Today she bit my ankle and when I tried to get away, I ended up gouging my foot on air vent. Obviously, this is out of hand and I don't know what to try. I've tried being extra gentle with her, speaking to her sternly, spraying her with water, putting her in the bathroom for a couple of minutes to cool down, crying out in pain (so she knows it hurts me), but nothing helps. Anyone know any solutions, particularly "quick fixes"? As I said, I'm disabled. I moved in with my parents because I couldn't work and needed help with day-to-day stuff too. My mom died 4 years ago and dad died this year. Now I'm trying to manage settling an estate, day-to-day life, and my illness. Time and energy is a luxury I don't have.


  • edited 12 June, 2010
    First of all, my sincere condolences on your loss. I\'m a bit familiar with this scenario. A death in the family affects people deeply, and our pets can sense it. When my grandmother (who I was quite close to) died, my emotions ran the gambit of extremes. My cat at the time absolutely reacted to it as well. My guess is that along with her own \"mourning\", she is also sensing and feeding off of your stress level. It\'s a vicious circle, really. She\'s stressed and feels your stress, she acts out, which makes you more stressed, which she senses and makes her more stressed... lather, rinse, repeat. Unfortunately, I don\'t have any \"quick fixes\" for this one. The only thing I can think of is maybe NOT reacting to her aggression. Your reaction is a sort of reward for her. It may be difficult, but when she scratches or bites, don\'t pull away or yell or give any indication that she has done anything to warrant your attention. \"Walk away\" calmly, clean the wound, calm yourself, and ignore her until she calms down herself. It\'s a tough road ahead, but please don\'t rush it if you can help it. Peace and Blessings to both of you.
  • Kori LugarKori Lugar LubbockMember Posts: 104
    edited 12 June, 2010
    I am so very sorry for your loss and situation. Since the cat seems to be very stressed, the only thing I can think of is anxiety or calming medication. There are many natural remedies that you can order online, everything from drops that you put in their water or even wall pluggins that release a pheromone. Try this link: Good luck!
  • Vicky ChanVicky Chan MarkhamMember Posts: 3,542
    edited 13 June, 2010
    Look Honey, I think you just need to vent right now. I second everything Teeka has said. I think Lexy is mourning in her own way. My suggestion is that you spend loads of quality time with her and spoil her wrotten for the time being.
  • joy wampolejoy wampole Member Posts: 626
    edited 14 June, 2010
    Lexy is in need of attention and affection. Your dad was her playmate, friend and companion. Spraying water and locking her in the bathroom will only make matters worse... Try buying her some little balls at the pet store, she would probably prefer those to your feet! Give her lots of pets if she allows it and talk gentle to her... Give her a chance and Lexy could prove to be a lifelong friend to you. I am very sorry for the loss of you father. I wish you all the best and you are in our prayers. Hugs, Sophie and mom |:|
  • Eva viezelEva viezel MontrealMember Posts: 3,008
    edited 14 June, 2010
    Don\'t really have anything new to add. I do agree with everything that was said before me. Do give her a chance. I think you both need each other. Condolences on the death of your dad.
  • BambergcatBambergcat Member Posts: 838 ✭✭✭
    edited 14 June, 2010
    Lexi's sad to hear about your parents..Lexi does feel your pain but she doesn't know what to do. You are stressed and she feels it. I would give her treats whenever she is near. Don't force things. She will come to you in time. Please don't punish her. She may be confused too...Be patient. If you get upset, just go to another room. Keep your voice quiet and even tempered. They do sell aromas that you can plug in for cats. I don't have the name for it but I can get the name....My cats love treats such a real chicken and turkey. I have dealt with an anxious cat who had been mistreated by her playmate because he can be too playful and scratch her eye. It took months for her to get over it. She is doing so much better. It does have with time. Keep a diary and write anything that happens that is positive. It is the little things that help...........By the way, my next cat will be a Siberian because they are beautiful and my future son-in-law has allergies to cats.......Again, my condolescenses on your father's death...Natasha and Alex's mom
  • AbbyCatAbbyCat Member Posts: 84 ✭✭
    edited 15 June, 2010
    My condolences on on your loss--and everything you are going through at this time. (And my thanks for your response to a question I asked on another forum thread). Lexi is stunningly beautiful -- my goodness! I guess she is mourning in her way and almost certainly picking up on your distress. So, I think everyone is giving you good advice. The name of an often recommended "plug in" product that can help calm cats is Feliway. You can also get a Feliway spray that my vet, for example, sprays on her hands to help calm upset and acting-out kitties when she is examining them. Feliway is a synthetic version of a cat's pheromones. Not all cats respond to it, but many do and it's not something that will take you a whole bunch of time to fuss with. Since the plug-in only covers a small 'territory' you might want to get several to place in different part of the house.
  • Shara PierceallShara Pierceall Member Posts: 18
    edited 17 June, 2010
    UPDATE: (Because I always want to know how people's issues turn out.) Lexi might be adjusting. She's only gone after my ankles two times in six days and she's getting closer to her normal level of affection. She had stopped seeking affection from me, though I never stopped offering affection. She's been seeking affection from me again. And today when she went after my ankles there was a clear reason. She slipped past me into the basement. I caught her...eventually and took her out because there are too many things down there that could be dangerous to her. She was mad at me for ruining her basement play time. Thanks for all the replies.
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