Wanting a new friend

Christine FrielleChristine Frielle Member Posts: 9
edited 8 January, 2012 in Choosing the Right Cat
My littermate/brother recently died really suddenly. (We think he had a seizure.) I seem really lonely and clingy to my parents since I have never lived without him. My parents are going to get me a new friend but aren't really sure what kind of cat to get. I am a 1.5 year old neutered male. I am friendly but can sometimes be stand off-ish and like to be alone. I am sometimes territorial, especially in a new place. I am still really playful and loved to wrestle with my brother. My parents are going to slowly introduce us but were wondering if anyone had advice. Would it be better for me to get a kitten or an older cat friend? What about a male or female? Thanks.


  • Paula K-Paula K- New YorkMember Posts: 2,244
    edited 6 January, 2012
    Everybody has their own opinions, but through fostering I've found that males are often better in multiple cat situations. I've just had too many grouchy females that don't want to be bothered with other cats. There are exceptions of course. One thing you could do is have a "trial run". I know my fostering program lets people do what they call "foster with intent". That means you kind of try the cat out to see how they get along and if it doesn't work out you can return the cat and try another. It's important to remember though that it can take a while for the adjustment. Never make a decision in the first week. It's after that that you really start to see a cat's personality. Of course the danger is that you start getting attached! Good luck and keep us posted. And we're so sorry for your loss - we know how hard it is.
  • Christie BrownChristie Brown Member Posts: 231
    edited 6 January, 2012
    Mom's experience and reading lead her to believe that two neutered males are pretty likely to make friends. (There are always exceptions of course.) If we were in your shoes, we'd choose a male....age depending on what you prefer and who needs a home and grabs your heart. Common wisdom says kittens are accepted a little faster, but that slight edge is no reason to bypass an adult who grabs your heart. Just remember that it does take time. I hissed at my "brother" Leo for over a month and now we are best buddies, grooming, snuggling and playing together. Any trial period probably would have been declared a failure for us, so I'm not sure what to think about that idea since cats are sooo slow to warm up to each other. Good luck.
  • Gimli_TGMGimli_TGM HurstMember Posts: 29,929 ✭✭
    edited 6 January, 2012
    We would agree with Eko and BK. The last kitty who joined our family was Kenji (December 2010) when he was about 5 weeks old. He and I have bonded and get along great. Kenji has bonded with K.C. but not as much as he and I have. He loves Tabi and Isis and never hisses or growls at any of us, but they don't feel the same way all the time.
  • Debra HoffmannDebra Hoffmann RidgewoodMember Posts: 1,174
    edited 7 January, 2012
    When we got CK (he was found in South Carolina at a tourist spot) and bought him home, we were a little apprehensive. A year earlier, Smokie had beaten up Natalie pretty bad. So I was a bit nervous. Well, things went fine. Smokie and Ruffy were almost immediately curious and receptive of CK. they 'brothered' him, played with him, and appear to have accepted him. He plays with the Bub. Bella doesn't much like him-she's a bit crotchety and he is annoying in his bopping and wanting to play and roll around with eveyrone and eveyrthing....but it went well. Perhaps a slightly younger male cat? We never meant to get CK....he was found-he was my first 'little kitten' and I think it worked pretty well. Good luck and thank you in advance for adopting another fur! So many need homes!
  • Hannah EastmanHannah Eastman Member Posts: 182
    edited 8 January, 2012
    i have two female cats who get along quite nicely with eachother. and they arent grouchy. mom finds females to be less aggressive and more friendly. both my girls are very friendly. but honestly it dosent matter weither the cat is male and female. it all depends on the cats personalty.
  • janice lancasterjanice lancaster temple gaMember Posts: 2,505
    edited 8 January, 2012
    I think that rather than relying on gender, it would be better to find a cat that is known to come from a multi cat home, meaning more than 2 cats, and where you know it got along in that home. I am now temporarily keeping my breeders cats, and since they have all always had run of house they get along, and there was very little hissing or fighting with my personal cats when they came here, and I only had to keep them separated a few days. The group now includes 2 neutered males, 3 adult spayed females, 4 adult unaltered females, 2 6 month old spayed females (leaving next week) and one unaltered male who obviously has his own room, but even he enjoys the company of a spayed or neutered buddy. (And obviously, the occasional entire female visit!) I think they accept new cats so easily because all of these have been around a whole bunch ofcats for all or most of their lives so it's not a big deal to them. We do think a 'teenage' cat of 8 months to 2 years might adjust best, whether it be male or female. All that said, in the past Meowma has had both males and females who had a very difficult time adjusting,and others who fit in immediately, and it is a very individual thing with cats.
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