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we have a 10 month old female cat who will not let my wife stroke it as it always trys to go for her

Best Answers

  • Sandy NenningerSandy Nenninger PlainvilleMember Posts: 1,975
    Accepted Answer
    Is she doing it in a playful way or in a mean way? And have you had her since she was a kitten. Without additional info, it's hard to tell if she was abused and responds that way to protect herself. Or if she was allowed to play rough as a kitten and thinks that hands are ok to grab. Kittens will always try to grab and bite your hand because they instinctively play this way when they roughhouse with their littermates. You have to teach them that your hand is not a toy. If that is what she is doing, your wife just needs to reinforce the training by refusing to give attention or distracting her with a toy when she acts this way. But if the cat is actually being defensive, then it will take time for her to learn that your wife wants to give her love and patience to teach her that stroking her fur is for cuddles and not for hurting. Just continue to try and don't get frustrated with her. Cats can take a while to un-learn a bad behavior.
  • Valerie DurhamValerie Durham Member Posts: 8,724
    Accepted Answer
    Allie's answer covers it all. I'm just curious as to your cat's background (rescue? Former feral?) and as to why this behavior seems to be directed primarily at your wife. Cats who have been separated from their mother and littermates too early haven't learned proper cat manners regarding what to attack and what not to attack. As for why this behavior is focused on your wife--was the cat abused by a human female when younger?
  • Sandra PerrySandra Perry MemphisMember Posts: 1,425
    Accepted Answer
    Agreeing with Allie and Leia. It sounds like there's more to this story that will help us help you. Oscar J was from a feral colony and we had to give him some "home training." Be consistent. Never, ever hit. Withdrawal of attention is a very effective tool. When Oscar would swipe when we played, I would draw my hand back and tell him gruffly, "Soft paws!" and then not play with him. He eventually learned. Also, use toys to play with her instead of using your hand as a toy. Oscar's favorite toy is a stuffed mouse that I throw for him.
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